Veritas
by piper maru duchovny
Summary: The truth has a way of coming out when you least expect it. 4x07 post-ep.


**This is not my best work. I am super sick right now so my brain is all fuzzy and, well, this is just not my best work. I apologize. That said, my muse would not be denied as I sat here thinking about last night's fantastic episode! **

**Disclaimer: I stake no claim to Andrew Marlowe's wonderful creation. **

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><p><em>Veritas is Latin for truth.<em>

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><p>Rick Castle's guest room was lavish, to say the least, with a bed that had never failed to put her to sleep before tonight. The night after her apartment had blown up, the soft mattress had pulled her under without a fight and every night after that for three weeks. Tonight, however, it just wasn't doing the trick and she found herself staring at the ceiling while shadows of Manhattan's movement danced around her. Every time her eyes had dared to drift close she was swarmed by the memory of the exploding bomb, plagued by what could have happened had the explosion been larger, terrified by the chance of losing him without ever telling him the truth. She knew it was ridiculous; he and Martha were fine and sleeping off the day less than a hundred feet away. The irrational part of her brain wouldn't leave her be, though, and she couldn't help but shake with the fear of losing him.<p>

Kate growled in frustration and slapped her head against the headboard.

"Kate." A soft knock came from the other side of the door before it opened and Alexis stood in the shadows of the hallway. "I couldn't sleep."

She sat up and offered the young woman a sympathetic smile, "me either."

"Every time I start to go to sleep I see the bomb go off," Alexis' voice was so soft that it almost disappeared between the doorway and the bed, "I was so scared."

"I know," she slipped from under the covers and walked over to the girl, "I was scared too. What do you say to some tea?"

Alexis nodded and allowed Kate to guide her downstairs to the kitchen. She merely raised an eyebrow at Kate's knowledge of their kitchen as the older woman pulled out the tea kettle and the box of chamomile from the cupboard. The redhead sat at the counter with one knee drawn to her chest and her arms wrapped protectively around herself.

"I... I'm sorry for being so... earlier."

Kate turned away from the stove and reached over the counter to place a hand on her forearm, "you have nothing to apologize for, Alexis, you were scared and you need them. I know that things have been rough but I promise I will always do everything I can to bring him home to you."

"I know you will," her voice was barely above a whisper, "you were scared too?"

"Terrified."

"I don't think that I have ever seen you scared before." Alexis had always thought that Detective Beckett was bulletproof and even the shooting hadn't shattered that belief – Kate was fearless and invincible in her eyes (and, for so long, it had terrified her because her father was not).

"I'm scared a lot more than you would think," she promised.

"Really?"

"I care about your father, Alexis, and the thought of anything taking him away from us... that scares me." She had never been so honest about her feelings toward Rick Castle outside of therapy.

"You need each other."

"More than we probably should," Kate replied with a shrug and moved to pour the water for tea.

"He loves you," she spoke carefully as she took her mug and moved to the couch, "I don't think he has ever loved anyone the way he loves you."

"I know," Kate breathed as she sunk into the soft cushions on the opposite end, "I... I love him too, Alexis."

"It's about damn time."

She let out a sharp laugh at the girl's blunt honesty. "I suppose so."

"I broke up with Ash tonight," Alexis explained as she picked at a stray thread on her sweatpants, "I know you're not supposed to make important decisions after big events but something about today made it all make sense... I needed him and he couldn't find five minutes to return my phone calls and lately it seemed like I was the only one making time for us."

"That's tough," she reached over and wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders, "when you care about someone so much but you know that it's better if you're not together."

"It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be," Alexis relaxed against her side, "I just wish that I didn't have to give him up as my friend too."

"You'll figure it out," she promised, "it may not seem like it now but it'll get better. You'll go off to college, meet boys who will make your dad's hair turn gray, and have lots of fun while you do it."

"Can't wait," the teenager smiled, "thanks, Kate."

"No thanks needed," the detective promised, "my mom and I used to sit like this on nights when my dad had to work late or was away for business. I was never much of a sleeper and my mom could never sleep without him beside her so we would sit up and drink tea and talk about everything and nothing."

"I wish I could have met her."

"She would have loved you," Beckett smiled, "with your wits and charm... you would have won her over in a second. I wish she could have met you. All of you."

Alexis smiled and wrapped an arm around Kate's middle to hug her tightly. The detective hugged her back with fierceness that neither of them had been anticipating. They stayed in the embrace for a long while before Alexis relaxed against her and her grip softened.

"I'm glad we have you," Alexis murmured as sleep began to pull her under.

"I'm glad to have all of you," she promised. "Sweet dreams."


End file.
